Discovering the Priesthood I First Desired

Every priest carries in his heart a secret image of the priesthood long before ordination. It is the priesthood he first desired.

It was born in prayer, in admiration of holy priests, in silent moments before the Blessed Sacrament, and in the generous dreams of youth. It was pure, noble, and full of light.

Before we became priests, we imagined the priesthood. And that imagination was beautiful.

1.The Priesthood We Fell in Love With.

For many of us, the call began with attraction. We saw a priest:

Celebrating Mass with reverence, preaching with conviction, comforting the grieving, visiting the sick, leading people to God. We saw a life that seemed: Meaningful, sacred, Purposeful, Spiritually fulfilling, And deep within the heart came the whisper: “This is the life I want.”We desired a life totally given to God and to His people. The first desire for priesthood is usually marked by generosity and purity of intention. It is a love story at its beginning.

2. The Ideal Image We Carried

Before ordination, many seminarians unconsciously build an ideal picture of priesthood:

A priest who: Prays deeply every day, Studies Scripture regularly, Has time for spiritual reading, Is loved by his parishioners, Lives in peaceful fraternity, Bears visible spiritual fruits. In this imagined priesthood: Ministry flows smoothly, People cooperate easily, Gratitude is abundant, God’s presence feels constant. This is not fantasy. It is the romantic stage of vocation. And God allows this dream because it attracts the heart.

3. God Uses Desire to Call

God often begins vocations through attraction rather than full disclosure. If God showed the whole reality from the beginning- the sacrifices, loneliness, misunderstandings, fatigue- many might hesitate. So, God first shows the beauty of the call. Just as Jesus first said to the disciples: “Come and see.” (John 1:39) He did not begin with: “Come and suffer.” “Come and be misunderstood.” “Come and carry the cross.” He began with attraction. Because love always begins with desire.

4. The Innocence of the Early Call

The priesthood we first desired was marked by a kind of spiritual innocence. We wanted:To save souls, To preach the Gospel, To bring people closer to God, To live a holy life.

We believed generosity would be enough. We believed zeal would be enough. We believed love would be enough. And in a sense, we were right. But we had not yet learned that love must pass through the Cross.

5. The Beauty of That First Desire

There is something sacred about the priesthood we first desired. It reminds us:

Why we said yes, Why we persevered through formation, Why we lay prostrate at ordination, Why we placed our hands in the bishop’s hands. That first desire was real. It was authentic. It was inspired by God. Even if it was incomplete, it was never false.

6. Why This Memory Matters

With time, ministry can become: Busy, Heavy, Demanding, Routine, And a priest can forget the original fire. That is why returning to the priesthood we first desired is important. Not to escape reality. But to reconnect with the grace of the beginning. In Revelation, the Lord says: “You have abandoned the love you had at first.” (Rev 2:4) The invitation is not condemnation. It is a call to remember.

7. The First Desire Was a Seed

The priesthood we first desired was not the full tree. It was the seed. A seed does not look like the tree it will become. But without the seed, the tree cannot exist.

The early dream of priesthood:

Was smaller than reality

Was simpler than reality

Was gentler than reality

But it was the beginning of everything.

Conclusion

Every priest must sometimes pause and ask:

Do I remember the priesthood I first desired? Not to compare. Not to regret. But to give thanks. Because the God who called us through that first desire is the same God who continues to form us today.

The dream was the beginning. The journey is the fulfilment.

Echoes from Holy Ghost Postulate House of Formation, Koko, Warri-North, Delta State